What's So Bad About Porn?

If you follow my blog, you know that we aren't afraid to address topics that might rub people the wrong way (no pun intended). I'm a very open person and like to address things from fashion, politics, and today - the topic of porn.

Ok WHAT? Why? What needs to be said about PORN? Isn't that kinda self explanatory? Why talk about such a "private" issue? What exactly is there to talk about in relation to PORN? It's just PORN!!?!

Let me first say that I am no expert, nor will I ever be. I'm just an informed friend of many who struggle with this issue.

I'm going to do my best to address a few statements I made yesterday on Facebook. If you haven't seen the comments I made, below is the post.

Yesterday I came across an article fightthenewdrug.org post about a billboard PornHub, an online porn site, put up in Time Square. Now, aside from wether you do or don't think porn is right or wrong, this billboard is too much. This was my original issue that I was speaking about when I made comments on Facebook. I then added the hashtag #PornKillsLove - this is where the discussion started. If you're reading this because you participated in the conversation last night – thank you. I read each comment and depending on what lens you view this issue through, all were diverse and interesting to read. Shall we begin?

Thought #1 - Porn isn't just a Religious, Secular, Lesbian, Gay, Bi, Transgender, or Straight issue. It's all of the above.

Interesting huh? If you're addressing porn from a Religious perspective, it's a horrible thing that shouldn't be talked about. From a Secular perspective, it's acceptable and everyone does it. LGBT perspective, depending on who you talk to - it's apart of subculture. Porn knows no title. I have Atheist Gay friends who are so anti-porn it's not even funny, but I also have friends in the church world who just say "it's a natural part of a man's life." So pinning this topic on one person group isn't relevant to the conversation we are going to have today.

Thought #2 - Porn – The Science of it.

For this thought, I need to let someone who is much smarter than I am to talk about this. Gary Wilson - Author of Your Brain On Pornsays it best in his 2012 TEDx Talk about the science of what porn does to your brain. Please watch this entire video, Gary proves porn isn't just situational feelings, or personality based addiction, it's scientific. 

Thought #3 - The Real Real

So here's my heart. The reason behind why I'm even talking about this. As a former small group leader to high school students, I've counseled many guys (although stats show that 18% of young women watch porn once a week) through the pitfall of being addicted to porn. I've seen it first hand ruin relationships that lead to divorce. I've seen teenage boys objectify women which lead to domestic violence and eventually time in prison. I had a friend who went straight into the porn industry right after high school, I spoke with him a few months ago when he retuned back home. He described it as "legal sex trafficking." Hello!!! We haven't and won't, in this post, talk about how the industry itself even works. Yes, these are all situational cases, but it all started with entertaining the idea that porn is natural – porn is just a process of life – everyone does it. 

I'm passionate about this issue because I see it destroying lives everyday of men and women who will never know what life, love, intimacy, is like aside from a screen. Whether you agree with me or not, it's overtaking our society. Almost a silent killer of sort. I made the decision in High School not to let porn into my life, I saw the affect it was having on my friends and I didn't want that. It wasn't because I was a "Christian," it was because I wanted to protect my future relationships and hopefully my future marriage, and family. 

My whole purpose from writing this blog was to simply start a conversation about an issue that is taking over my generation in a very real way. It's not to start a debate, because to be honest, this is a very public yet utterly private issue. In a marriage this issue is between you and your spouse. While you're single, it's an issue of heart and head. I don't have all the answers, but If I can help point just one person in the right direction, writing this was worth it. 

I'd love to talk with you more one-on-one if you'd like to discuss this privately. If you're in the Fort Smith area and need help with this, I can point you in the right direction of people and recourses that can help you with this. 

My last thought before I go enjoy the rest of my Tuesday, is that this addiction can be beatenNow obviously it won't be easy, but it's possible. I know of several men and women who have beaten this. You can too.

Thank you for stopping by, and I would love to hear your comments below. 


Other Thoughts:

Why I Stopped Watching Porn: Ran Gavrieli TEDx Talk
The Resurgence - A Guide To Sex & Porn
Fight The New Drug